It is that distinction Pavitt tries to surface in coaching: "It's about discerning whether the chemistry you feel is showing me this person's compatible with me or if it is a familiar sense of anxiety.
Carroll's argument draws on decades of research, which he put together in his report, The Soulmate Trap, much of which distinguishes between what psychologists call "destiny beliefs" - the idea that the right relationship should feel effortless - and "growth beliefs", which focus on what partners can do to make things work.
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